No final das contas, tudo vai ficar bem

Estou falido, mas estou feliz; sou pobre, mas sou gentil.

Sou frágil, mas sou saudável, sim!

Estou dopado, mas tenho os pés no chão.

Sou louco, mas estou fascinado. Estou perdido, mas tenho esperança, meu caro.

E no final das contas tudo vai ficar muito, muito bem.

Porque eu tenho uma mão no bolso e a com a outra dou um high five.

 

Eu me sinto bêbado, mas estou alerta. Sou jovem e sou mal pago.

Estou cansado, mas estou trabalhando, merda.

Eu me importo, mas estou inquieto. Estou aqui mas já parti a tempos, baby.

 

E no frigir dos ovos tudo vai ficar muito bem. E eu tenho uma mão no meu bolso e com a outra estou acendendo um cigarro.

No final das contas eu não entendi foi nada dessa vida. E estou com uma mão no meu bolso e com a outra fazendo o sinal da paz.

 

Sou livre, mas sou focado. Sou inocente, mas muito sábio. Sou duro, mas amigável, meu bem.

Estou triste, mas sorrio. Sou valente mas também um merda. Estou doente, mas eu sou lindo, baby.

 

E resumindo tudo isso, a verdade é que ninguém ainda entendeu nada de nada. E eu tenho uma mão no meu bolso e com a outra eu toco piano.

No final das contas, meus amigos, tudo vai ficar muito, muito bem. E continuo com uma mão no bolso e com a outra estou chamando meu táxi.

 

Palavras de Alanis Morissette, livre tradução de Hand in my pocket para o português.

We’re temporary arrangements

This morning, my iPod played this song for me when I was stretching before gym. My iPod has been playing this for me quite frequently and I think it’s weird considering it’s on ‘shuffle’ and I have about two thousand songs on it. For some reason, it likes this song. For some reason, I like this song. I have a special affinity for songs that reference Jesus and the Bible written by people who don’t profess to be Christians. It’s always interesting to see these figures from a secular point of view. When I got to know the lyrics few years ago I felt like a whole new world were right there in front of me, Alanis’ canadian accent makes it harder for me to undertand the real meaning of what shes’s singing, so reading the lyrics was cosmic.

This song pulls me back in high school when I first saw the movie Dead Poets Society and I had to write an essay on it. First time I saw the movie I hated it, thought the teacher was crazy, than I got the check list my literature teacher gave me and saw the movie looking for the details. Gosh! I felt deeply depressed when the movie ended and it was a milestone on my depression story. Time was passing by and there was nothing I could do to avoid it. I was merely a child, 14, 15 years old, but a nerd, a nerd so affraid of it’s mortality. I wrote the longest and deepest essay ever and got a B-, a friend of mine from a private school literaly copied the same essay to her teacher and got a A+! Who said that the universe is fair?

Last days I’m waisting a lot of time thinking about my life as if I should have a master plan by now. I got to know a lot of people after my break up and eacho of them made me wonder how my life would be if I care more about family, money and the future instead of bursting my energy as if each day was the last. Think I am not being clear. I am not meant to be.

Ok, I have a hematoly book to read. Just a caffee break.

Hope everyone have a great week! And let’s burn the chocolate calories this week, by all means!

No Pressure Over Capuccino
by Alanis Morissette

And you’re like a 90’s Jesus
And you revel in your psychosis
How dare you
And you sample concepts like hors d’euvres
And you eat their questions for dessert
Is it just me or is it hot in here?

And you’re like a 90’s kennedy
And you’re really a million years old
You can’t fool me
They’ll throw opinions like rocks in riots
And they’ll stumble around like hypocrites
Is it just me or is it dark in here?

Well you may never be or have a husband you may never have or hold a child
You will learn to lose everything; we are temporary arrangements.

And you’re like a 90’s Noah
And they laughed at you as you packed all of your things
And they wonder why you’re frustrated
And they wonder why you’re so angry
And is it just me or are you fed up?

And may God bless you in your travels in your conquests and queries.

Unsent letters – Another one bites the dust

Unsent

Dear W, the first time I felt in love in adulthood it was with you.

Few weeks ago I heard you’re dating an old friend of mine.

I felt happy for you both. Hope he manages your tumultuous agenda.

When we were together my priority was neuroanatomy.

Yours were a promotion that never came.

I was just a kid then. Maybe I’m still one. But you’re not getting any younger.

The age/money gap sealed our destiny.

 

Dear E, I never really loved you.

I hated the way you showed me to your friends as a trophy.

Think I just loved the feeling of having someone to call my own. 

I’ll never understand how I managed to spend so much time with you.

I learned from you that money won’t make me a better person.

‘Coz you were so rich and yet so shallow.

Thank you for introducing me to Twix and Moulin Rouge.

 

Dear D, you were my forbidden fruit.

The five thousand miles between us didn’t look like a problem back then.

I’d quit my world for you. I’d try to stop the earth for you. 

You were only emotionally available when I was far away.

I never felt so lonely as I did when we were finally on the same room.

No hard feelings. Now I know I am not just fine, I am great.

Hope all your dreams have come true by now.

I miss your cat, he licked me like no one else ever did.

 

Dear J, you rocked my world.

At the end we learned that somethings within us can never be unleashed.

But before that I felt safe and complete when you held me in your arms.

Loved the way you were always there for me.

We grew, we saw the world and then followed different ways.

We lost a son, we cried, we were uncomfortable.

Hope someday you will forgive me for being such a badass. I’ve already forgiven you. 

You will always live in a special place in my heart.

 

Dear E, we didn’t have much time.

You showed me that life goes on even if we don’t want it too.

You’re one of the kindest human beings I’ll ever known.

And also the most complicated one.

Unfortunately I was lost and you tried to rule my life for me.

You knew I was untamed.

I appreciate the tenderness and the support you once gave me.

Your artistic spirit inspired me but, truth be told, we were never lovers.

I am not sure if  I could have loved you in a different situation.

Dear A, when we where together the world seemed small

We were hot, but even the sun one day will get colder and then explode.

You really cared about my pleasure, but not my dreams

I couldn’t understand where you were going and I didn’t want to follow you

I do hope we meet in future, I want it so bad to see you sparkling.

You deserve no more than greatness.

If you could see me now you’d be proud.

Dear R, you pushed me to my limits!

And I salute you for you perseverance in face of my stubbornness.

Usually I don’t test my limits ‘coz I don’t want to remember I’m not almighty.

I am truly thankful for all the laughs we shared,

for all the irony only we, together, could spread in the world. 

You’re the one I’ll miss the much because I have loved you for what you were. 

We learned passion can undo the best of us and lead to tragedy…

Try always to care about others as you think you do. 

I’ve never painted myself into something better than I was

and you never seemed to fell my brightest colors. 

 

Inspired by the goddess’ Alanis Morissette Unsent song, from the unique Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie Album.