“You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like I’m nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I’m wounded.
You, pickin’ on the weaker man.
Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you don’t know, what you don’t know,
Someday, I’ll be living in a big ‘o city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean?”
Yesterday after taking big decisions and having grown-ups loooooong talks I went home late of night with some bugs buzzing inside my head and this song came into my mind. Somewhere along the way I gave wrong people the power to make me feel affected, hurt, in a way it was destroying me. And I let it become a routine, which took me years to realize was making me sick and a few years more to fight against it properly.
I do believe I leaned how to pick the right people to trust in and to keep close. I also believe I already had my share of psychos. I feel so lucky to have the great friends I do and to have had some other nice people that made part of my history and somehow lead me into who I am today. I am not complaining of a lack of nice people in my life, the problem is the bad ones. Am I a psycho magnet?
Usually I don’t do anything revengie, this is not the real Fabio. But honestly it would bring me endless pleasure singing this song to some people who have hurt me and by then I was speechless. It’s my Emily-Thorn side revealing itself.