Red strings attached to me

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.

One story featuring the red string of fate involves a young boy that once was walking home one night when he sees an old man standing beneath the moonlight (Yue Xia Lao). The man explains him that he is attached to his destined wife by a red thread. Yue Xia Lao shows the boy the young girl who is destined to him. Being young and having no interest in having a wife, the young boy picks up a rock and throws it at the girl, running away. Many years later, when the boy has grown into a young man, his parents arrange a wedding for him. On the night of his wedding, his wife waits for him in their bedroom, with the traditional veil covering her face. Raising it, the man is delighted to find that his wife is one of the great beauties of his village. However, she wears an adornment on her eyebrow. He asks her why she wears it and she responds that when she was a young girl, a boy threw a rock at her that struck her, leaving a scar on her eyebrow. She self-consciously wears the adornment to cover it up. Take your own conclusions!

When I was in high-school my Brazilian Literature teacher showed us this story about the red string of fate. Skeptical as I have always been, I thought at the time that she should stick to the program and avoid telling silly legends about loneliness, destiny, happiness and stuff that wasn’t her job to do. Damn, and it was Chinese folklore, if only it was an Occidental story. How much time would it take for me to get this kind of sensibility… Now I get it.

Lately many of my beliefs and disbelieves have been put to the test.

One thing that I would never do few years ago and I just did is to google what I’m feeling and read about what others would have to say in situations like mine and I found this most interesting blog from Niall Doherty. I didn’t feel like it was a self-help blog when reading it so I gave him a try. I began to consider how often my thought process holds me back from new experiences. So I learned that we have “limiting beliefs” that are often false and may hold us back from new experiences. To overcome these limiting beliefs, Nail suggests having more “reference experiences.”  These are experiences that push us outside the realm of our minds and into the real world to disprove those limiting beliefs.

I am often guilty of letting my limiting beliefs keep me from experiencing life to the fullest.  For as long as I can remember, I have let thoughts brought on by shyness or anxiety sway my decisions to do or not do something.  Shyness and anxiety both bring countless limiting beliefs to the table: people might think I’m weird/ugly/stupid, I won’t be articulate, I could get hurt, I’d rather not leave my comfort zone, I won’t be able to enjoy it because it’s not my thing, and so on, and on and on. What I’ve been doing is giving luck a chance, there’s so much to live and discover, I probably have no idea of what’s really my thing, I haven’t tried everything (and never will), so the best I can do is take every opportunity that shows up and see what happens.

Niall suggests, “You can’t kill a limiting belief with logic. But you can often kill a limiting belief by getting out there and putting it to the test in the real world, by actually experiencing that logic at play.”  It is completely against my old instincts to shut out those limiting beliefs, and this idea keeps me motivated to try.

Back to the red thread story, it may sound as something completely opposite to the idea of having reference experiences as supposedly your destiny is already written and there’s nothing you can do to change it. I don’t think so. Maybe our destinies are really written somehow, but what we do in the meantime makes all the difference. You can find your soul mate minutes before you die in your deathbed or thirty years before you leave Earth. It’s up to you, depends on your way of dealing with you life. I’m trying to be proactive and not waiting for the prince charming knock on my door and take me to the Unicorn’s Land. I’m out there looking for him. And maybe I have just found…

Red string of fate… Have I found mine?

My friend had to encourage me to meet an almost unknown guy at a park in downtown Boston one week ago. I felt like it would be the same old thing, even if he wasn’t like this when we chatted on internet, he would be weird and just looking for NSA sex with a hung man. I am not even hung (he thought me later what hung means).  Not that I can’t enjoy NSA sex, but I think I’m over it now. And I was “if I like him, soon I’ll be thousands miles always from here and we would never be a couple”.

Well, he was just an amazing good-looking guy and I couldn’t help but smiling and opening myself to him. When I saw I was already staring at him and wondering if he was into me or not. We had great time together and I still do not know what life holds for us but I know I’m feeling great wondering that the other end of my red string can be tied around his little finger or his ankle. Let’s wait and see. One thing I can tell, that night when we were lying in the grass under a starry sky was one of the most magical nights of my life, that park was our safe zone, the world was sleeping outside and we were just holding hands. If that’s all we had to offer to each other, I could say it was worthwhile.

I’m feeling so good, but at the same time dreadfully scared because I know I can’t control this kind of things. Life could be easier, he could live across the street instead of across the ocean. But who said it would be easy?


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