Ernst Zundel once said, “conquerors never, never conquer a nation to bring freedom, they brought control”. I never planed conquering a continent, a country or even a village or a block in my neighborhood, but someone’s heart, gosh, I’ve tried so many times and when I thought I’d succeed it was when I had made my biggest mistakes. I must confess I’m trying to learn from the team headed by Napoleon, Christopher Columbus and even Adolf Hitler. Ok, just kidding, especially when I mentioned Hitler. But to conquer seems to be something inborn ‘coz the harder I try the bigger the mess gets. Maybe I should give these self-help books a try… Or maybe not, I won’t get that low, not for now.
Control. As a Sagittarian I hate even the sound of this word and could never bear hanging out with someone who has the need for it. I heard from an ex that sometimes I used to be a freak controller without even realizing what I was doing. It’s dangerous and I attended to a shrink for few months to solve this issue. Oh, God, I spent a lot of money learning how to let things go… Now I know how to, even when I don’t want them to.
I don’t want to conquer someone’s heart to control it but to offer the opportunity of choosing between me or a miserable life. Maybe not miserable, after all I am not the only single nice guy out there. But I’d be surprisingly good for the one I’m in love with, trust me. I am a nice guy, I have the sweetest imperfections, I know when I am being a pain in the ass most of time and I use to comb my hair and brush my teeth vigorously. A great friend of mine keeps telling me I was born to be conquered, not to be a conqueror. I will fight against this lot, or curse, depends on how you face it. Don’t want to be conquered by a tyrant who’ll cut my wings after all this time I’ve been learning how to fly.
Having a commitment with someone, any kind of commitment, somehow implies rearranging time and affection, friends may lose some space in you agenda, maybe you will not be seen at the gym so often anymore and even you mom may comply that you don’t love her anymore and that she deserves more than just flowers and a card in May. But life is all about it, an eternal unbalance that we try to compensate using different tools in different stages of our existence. Never leave anyone important behind, but always keeping some space to new visitors that will become residents, or not.
I had almost one hour off here, loving this new job. Just heard that my 11am patient arrived. Time to try to save some lives and stop wondering how wonderful life would be if my recent date works out. Crossing fingers!!!
Let’s all conquer our happiness, day by day.
Wish you all a Wunderbach Mittwoch!
PS: I feel sorry if I sound like a four-year old Alabama kid when I write in English, I know I’m terrible writer, but it’s my sweet way of being 🙂